Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-01-03 02:21:23
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Ethan Kross
- ISBN：0525575243
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Summary
NATIONAL BESTSELLER - An award-winning psychologist reveals the hidden power of our inner voice and shows how to harness it to combat anxiety， improve physical and mental health， and deepen our relationships with others。
LONGLISTED FOR THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD - "A masterpiece。"--Angela Duckworth， bestselling author of Grit - Malcolm Gladwell， Susan Cain， Adam Grant， and Daniel H。 Pink's Next Big Idea Club Winter 2021 Winning Selection
One of the best new books of the year--The Washington Post， BBC， USA Today， CNN Underscored， Shape， Behavioral Scientist， PopSugar - Kirkus Reviews， Publishers Weekly， and Shelf Awareness starred reviews
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself， and you're likely to get written off as eccentric。 But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head。 When we talk to ourselves， we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead。 When we're facing a tough task， our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus--you can do this。 But， just as often， our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail。 They'll all laugh at me。 What's the use？
In Chatter， acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves。 Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies--from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch， to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy--Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives， work， and relationships。 He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk--what he calls "chatter"--can tank our health， sink our moods， strain our social connections， and cause us to fold under pressure。
But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor。 These tools are often hidden in plain sight--in the words we use to think about ourselves， the technologies we embrace， the diaries we keep in our drawers， the conversations we have with our loved ones， and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces。
Brilliantly argued， expertly researched， and filled with compelling stories， Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves。
LONGLISTED FOR THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD - "A masterpiece。"--Angela Duckworth， bestselling author of Grit - Malcolm Gladwell， Susan Cain， Adam Grant， and Daniel H。 Pink's Next Big Idea Club Winter 2021 Winning Selection
One of the best new books of the year--The Washington Post， BBC， USA Today， CNN Underscored， Shape， Behavioral Scientist， PopSugar - Kirkus Reviews， Publishers Weekly， and Shelf Awareness starred reviews
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself， and you're likely to get written off as eccentric。 But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head。 When we talk to ourselves， we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead。 When we're facing a tough task， our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus--you can do this。 But， just as often， our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail。 They'll all laugh at me。 What's the use？
In Chatter， acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves。 Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies--from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch， to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy--Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives， work， and relationships。 He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk--what he calls "chatter"--can tank our health， sink our moods， strain our social connections， and cause us to fold under pressure。
But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor。 These tools are often hidden in plain sight--in the words we use to think about ourselves， the technologies we embrace， the diaries we keep in our drawers， the conversations we have with our loved ones， and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces。
Brilliantly argued， expertly researched， and filled with compelling stories， Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves。
Reviews
Kimberly H
，
4。5 stars， half star deduction because it was so jam-packed with good stuff that I couldn’t zone out while I listened！ I thought I knew about self-talk， but there was still more to learn。 Excellent content， filled with practical tips to distance the ruminating inner voice in our heads so that we don’t spiral or feel like we are losing control of the situation。 The final chapter is a great inclusion because it concisely summarizes all the strategies。 I especially liked the section about providing 4。5 stars， half star deduction because it was so jam-packed with good stuff that I couldn’t zone out while I listened！ I thought I knew about self-talk， but there was still more to learn。 Excellent content， filled with practical tips to distance the ruminating inner voice in our heads so that we don’t spiral or feel like we are losing control of the situation。 The final chapter is a great inclusion because it concisely summarizes all the strategies。 I especially liked the section about providing chatter support （care & support + concrete steps to move forward） and receiving chatter support （physical touch， having a board of advisors， performing rituals with others， and more）。 One of the few audiobooks that I will buy in hard copy。 。。。more
Gregory Katz
，
Too much “science”While I appreciate the messages and learnings from this book， I found it dragged with way too many studies trying to support the findings and overriding messages。 This book could have been 30% shorter and I would have gotten the same out of it。
Anne
，
A short， practical book filled with easy ways to calm that voice in your head。
Noel L
，
Very helpful for understanding and dealing with our inner thoughts （chatter）。 I would recommend it to a number of people that I know。 Also， good that the author summarizes his recommendations at the end。
Simonew
，
Great book to start the year with ！！
Võ Trần
，
Bạn đã bao giờ tự hỏi về những tiếng nói nội tâm của chính mình và luôn mong muốn một điều gì đó từ bản thân để giảm bớt những lo lắng và những suy nghĩ chẳng dễ chịu gì cho cam không？ Bạn cứ tưởng rằng bạn sẽ khống chế tốt được tiếng nói nội tâm của chính bạn， bạn nghĩ rằng bạn còn có thể làm tốt hơn thế nữa。 Nhưng rồi bạn lại rơi vào cái bẫy của chính cảm xúc do mình tạo ra。 Chật vật， mệt mỏi， buồn chán quá nhiều cảm xúc tiêu cực đọng lại trong đầu khiến bạn gần như nổ tung。 Mình cũng vậy， Và Bạn đã bao giờ tự hỏi về những tiếng nói nội tâm của chính mình và luôn mong muốn một điều gì đó từ bản thân để giảm bớt những lo lắng và những suy nghĩ chẳng dễ chịu gì cho cam không？ Bạn cứ tưởng rằng bạn sẽ khống chế tốt được tiếng nói nội tâm của chính bạn， bạn nghĩ rằng bạn còn có thể làm tốt hơn thế nữa。 Nhưng rồi bạn lại rơi vào cái bẫy của chính cảm xúc do mình tạo ra。 Chật vật， mệt mỏi， buồn chán quá nhiều cảm xúc tiêu cực đọng lại trong đầu khiến bạn gần như nổ tung。 Mình cũng vậy， Và khi chạm tay đến cuốn sách mình mới nhận ra và học được nhiều điều từ tác giả “không có tiếng nói nội tâm như con buồm ra khơi mà không có lưới đánh cá vậy”。 Chúng ta luôn tìm mọi cách để tháo gỡ mối thắt trong lòng nhưng lại quên mất rằng tiếng nói ấy không thể tan biến được， nhưng chúng ta có thể biến chúng trở thành một người chỉ dẫn và làm bạn với chúng。 Tôi giận cảm xúc của chính mình vì luôn đưa tôi đến những cái nhìn tiêu cực như vậy， tôi đau đớn đến nỗi muốn gạt phắt những muộn phiền trong lòng， tôi hận chính cảm xúc của tôi vì không tìm được cách để khiến tôi yêu bản thân tôi hơn。 Tiếng nói nội tâm và suy nghĩ luẩn quẩn sẽ vẫn còn và sẽ không bao giờ biến mất， sẽ là một câu chuyện khác nếu bạn biết cách để kiểm soát nó。 Cảm ơn những người đã tạo ra cuốn sách này， một cuốn sách chữa bệnh cho tam lí của con người。 。。。more
Brian
，
Entertaining with some good ideas。
Carlo Corti
，
This book is fine， but there was not a lot in it or a lot to it。 The basic idea that the chatter in our head can be a good thing， force reflection， etc。 makes sense， but it isn't earth-shattering。 It feels like it should be a nice article in the Atlantic or something。 Also the suggestions are simple， and maybe for some people they will be really helpful， but things like talking to yourself in the second or third person， or thinking about what advice you would give someone else in your situation This book is fine， but there was not a lot in it or a lot to it。 The basic idea that the chatter in our head can be a good thing， force reflection， etc。 makes sense， but it isn't earth-shattering。 It feels like it should be a nice article in the Atlantic or something。 Also the suggestions are simple， and maybe for some people they will be really helpful， but things like talking to yourself in the second or third person， or thinking about what advice you would give someone else in your situation seem so basic。 Anyway， it's not like I got nothing out of it， as I read the whole thing， just thought it was going to contain more interesting examples， studies， etc。 。。。more
Saionee
，
Insightful read。 Lots of take aways for me。
Cami
，
Good stuff。 I found myself losing interest at times and lost in the research， so I appreciate the conclusions and the tools sections that summarize things at the end。 I agree that distanced self-talk is helpful for calming inner talk （and， I would argue that this can be found through open awareness meditation， though the author seemed against meditation since his father didn't explain it well）。 And I believe in the power of placebos and meaningful rituals that bring about positive mental results Good stuff。 I found myself losing interest at times and lost in the research， so I appreciate the conclusions and the tools sections that summarize things at the end。 I agree that distanced self-talk is helpful for calming inner talk （and， I would argue that this can be found through open awareness meditation， though the author seemed against meditation since his father didn't explain it well）。 And I believe in the power of placebos and meaningful rituals that bring about positive mental results。 I enjoyed learning about the background for the word "mesmerizing，" and I liked the advice on being better， empathetic and encouraging listeners instead of co-ruminating。 。。。more
Matthew Palmer
，
If you’ve ever been to therapy， no need to read this book。 It’s full of basic therapy advice like positive thinking。 This is filled with multiple “studies” where when reading how the study is set up， you can guess the outcome。 Stopped at page 110。
Lorrie
，
Interesting， but an over-use of ‘etcetera’ bothered me。 It’s lazy writing。
Ralique
，
last sections were the best including toolbox summary at end （more comprehensive than what's online） last sections were the best including toolbox summary at end （more comprehensive than what's online） 。。。more
Arti
，
We have all experienced at some point how negative self-talk so easily spins out of control… and in these times of covid we have seen that we are all the more vulnerable… It is these voices in our head - the conversations we have with ourselves - that the book talks about… and uses examples to show not just their risk but also their potential… while on one hand these internal voices could pull us into a negative spiral ， on the other these could be positive platforms for self-reflection and grow We have all experienced at some point how negative self-talk so easily spins out of control… and in these times of covid we have seen that we are all the more vulnerable… It is these voices in our head - the conversations we have with ourselves - that the book talks about… and uses examples to show not just their risk but also their potential… while on one hand these internal voices could pull us into a negative spiral ， on the other these could be positive platforms for self-reflection and growth… The author reminds us that through good and bad， our inner voice has allowed us to not just survive as a species but thrive… and the key is not to shy away from these voices but learning to manage this chatter and see new set of possibilities for how we cope with physical and emotional pain…but a surprising dimension that the narrative brings in is to demonstrate how powerfully beliefs affect our inner voice and health… The author shares his experience and suggests that there is enough evidence to say that there are tools that can guide us on this journey and attempts to introduce some of these tools… he shares that our minds are closely intertwined with our physical environments… that we are embedded in our physical spaces， and different features of these spaces activate psychological forces inside us， which affect how we think and feel… These tools cover a broad spectrum， but are grouped into a few broad categories - （1） how we respond to the voice by stepping back from the echo chamber， and techniques like self-distancing， reframing the situation into a challenge， engaging in mental time travel to see the impermanence of current situation etc。 are shown to help by putting the issue in a broader perspective… understanding that the body response to stress is an evolutionary reaction and helps to improve performance under high-stress（2） how the environment plays a role and we can connect with nature to recharge attention that is helpful in reducing chatter and bolstering health… how we can be inspired by experiences in nature or anything that fills us with awe， from art to those special moments at home， as that helps reframe our perspective and transcend our current concerns…（3） how imposing order in our surroundings can help us harness our inner voices and get back the feeling of control - it can be comforting and allow us to feel better， think more clearly and perform at higher levels… （4） how our beliefs and rituals - culturally ordained or self-created - can work to our advantage… just believing that an object or ritual will reduce the chatter will often precisely have that effect… harnessing the brains power of expectation or just the power of the mind to heal itself is quite powerful， we see every day around us the role rituals can play in calming us down （many players have elaborate rituals - just observe Nadal in the preparation for every point）…there is no prescribed formula and different techniques and combinations of tools work for different people… and the key is to discover for oneself… but what is fascinating in the narrative is that the methods at our disposal are often so strange， and their effects so strong， that they almost seem like magic… and if we are to believe the author then there is evidence and research that shows that these bizarre methods actually work！I picked the book as it was nominated on goodreads for the annual award - it is easy to read， references studies and research in support of the tools recommended and in most cases you can relate to your own experience… it works as a reminder of the power of our mind， beliefs and positive thinking… 。。。more
Ceil
，
Good insights about the role that the （constant！） stream of internal chatter （the talk track of our lives， as it were） plays in psychological health， and strategies for managing it productively。
Elizabeth
，
A lot of interesting information。 I was particularly interested in the notion of speaking to oneself in the third person as a way to decrease anxiety and gain perspective on problems。 I would have thought that remove would have negatively affect one's ability to gain perspective on one's problems but turns out not to be th case。 I am going to try to employ this strategy instead of my current（and unsuccessful one of rumination。 A lot of interesting information。 I was particularly interested in the notion of speaking to oneself in the third person as a way to decrease anxiety and gain perspective on problems。 I would have thought that remove would have negatively affect one's ability to gain perspective on one's problems but turns out not to be th case。 I am going to try to employ this strategy instead of my current（and unsuccessful one of rumination。 。。。more
Collette
，
What a great book that provides easy strategies to help quiet the internal chatter or criticism in our minds。
Kelly Power
，
Chatter by Ethan Kross is a good quick， read about how to harness your inner voice。 I'm a fan of cognitive behavior therapy and would say this is a simpler and easier way to understand how you can control your negative chatter and the spiraling effects it can cause。 Chatter by Ethan Kross is a good quick， read about how to harness your inner voice。 I'm a fan of cognitive behavior therapy and would say this is a simpler and easier way to understand how you can control your negative chatter and the spiraling effects it can cause。 。。。more
Stefanie
，
One of the best books I've read all year！ One of the best books I've read all year！ 。。。more
Alex P
，
Book with an appealing name but little substance。 The tools section at the end is all the really matters。
Fizza
，
It’s engaging and relatable book that provides rock-solid and concrete directives for how to implement its teachings in real life。
Malcolm Bellamy
，
This was the last book I read in the 2nd Covid year and the best non-fiction book I have read all year。I was put on to reading the book from a top 10 Non-fiction books list that I read in the online version of the New York Times。I can only say that this book， for me has been transformative。 As someone who has suffered throughout my life by self-doubt and apprehension about taking chances， I now realise that I needed to use one of the excellent "toolbox" of techniques that the author presents us This was the last book I read in the 2nd Covid year and the best non-fiction book I have read all year。I was put on to reading the book from a top 10 Non-fiction books list that I read in the online version of the New York Times。I can only say that this book， for me has been transformative。 As someone who has suffered throughout my life by self-doubt and apprehension about taking chances， I now realise that I needed to use one of the excellent "toolbox" of techniques that the author presents us with to calm my inner chatter and talk to myself。Yes， talk to myself。 Not in a schizophrenic way but in a way that allows my logical unemotional self to consider options and make a decision。This is not to say that I must subjugate my emotions but try to realise when they are leading me astray or striking unnecessary fear into me。This is a book that I wish I had read years ago but am thankful I got to read it now。 Highly recommended。 。。。more
Mindy Denning
，
4。5 / 5
mina
，
Chatter is probably the best “self help” book on how to deal with anxiety I’ve read so far。 Some of the tools I was already familiar with/subconsciously already doing， but reading about the studies and examples that make these tools so successful was really helpful in motivating me to put them into practice more often。 Also， very grateful there’s a summary at the end with all the advice， because I didn’t take notes while reading 🥲。
Marissa Dai
，
fascinating and applicable， but not as life-changing as I expected it to be
McKinley Reid
，
3/5。 Helpful， practical and short/to the point。
Joe
，
A Healthy ReadGood， practical techniques and discussions about the topic。 Not life changing for me but helpful。 Reinforced some methods I already use and enlightened me on others。 This book would be helpful to everyone。
Sheetal
，
Gold
Aditya Lahiri
，
Nice book。 Very well written。 Engaging and informative！ Something different and scientifically backed。
Geri
，